


Kissing you is addictive.

by orphan_account



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Fluff, Help, How Do I Tag, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Hurts So Good, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Not Beta Read, Pinching, Self-Hatred, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 21:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30028020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sonny kisses Harry for everyone to see. By mistake. And it has him rolling on self-hate and pain for a while, Harry kisses it better.Extra tags: Author can only write angst, Why do I always have to make Sonny suffer, Accidental outing, Everything is well when it ends well, HARRY IS SUCH A GOOD BF, he struggles too, there's not much going on here, mostly thoughts, take AO3 away from me, not so much of italic using
Relationships: Harry Kane/Son Heung-Min
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	Kissing you is addictive.

**Author's Note:**

> Are the extra tags on the summary annoying? Let me know. theres really not others ways I can warn people my fanfics are pure chaos

It had been 100% an accident when it happened. Harry had decided it would be the greatest idea to congratulate Son's incredibly hard goal by giving him a couple of kisses on the face and neck, because he's a jackass and doesn't fear shit. Sonny, however, was high on adrenaline and serotonin, so, being unable to properly  _ think _ he did what he would usually do. Turn his head and give Harry a quick kiss, too.

But there were cameras, and people, and they were in a professional situation… and they had never talked about displaying any kind of more-than-friendly affection, ever. 

When Son realized what he had done, he wanted to  _ cry _ , he was sure Harry was going to be so mad. Even though Harry' smile only trembled, never really went away or broke, Sonny was sure he was going to be angry with him afterwards, or scream at him or worse. Because that's what happened when he fucked up this bad, when he was younger at least, doesn't matter how comprehensive and sweet Harry was, "every man has his breaking point and you can't do anything right" was the only thing he could hear from that familiar invisible voice. He didn't think the cameras had caught it, but it wasn't okay all the same, he had no right to be  _ this _ reckless, especially when Harry had told him things were complicated. It's not like Sonny was oblivious, he had just mentioned he loved how Harry picked him for the entire world to see, because they should know Son was  _ his _ , and Harry's mind was quick to shoot off a warning.  Son got himself out of the game by faking a knee injury. He just had to get out. He'd feel bad about it when he had time to think about anything other than the fact that he would have to face  _ everyone _ with the knowledge that he just straight up outed himself and Kane in less than 10 seconds.

Meanwhile, Harry was having several internal struggles while trying to concentrate on playing anything at all. First it was happiness and Softness, then it was the wish of being angry, but then it was mostly concerns.  First of them, and the most massive one, was the fact that Sonny had gotten out of the pitch with a self-proclaimed knee injury, the problem about this was a three fold: Sonny could be  _ really _ injured, and Harry swore on god he would give him his own knee; Sonny could be just really tired and couldn't play anymore so he just used it as an excuse to leave the pitch or, worst of them all; Sonny was feeling bad about the incident and felt like he just couldn't stand to be on pitch with Harry anymore like it was nothing.

That last fold actually led Harry to his second struggle, the idea that Sonny was feeling  _ terribly  _ about it, and he knew if that was the case he was probably having all sorts of thoughts that he really shouldn't. And the last struggle, a really big one; was of course the fact that there were  _ cameras _ and the fact that everyone could have seen it and Harry would have to deal with questions of all sorts. He really didn't want to think about that now.

Harry felt  selfish. Thinking about his own problems and internalized issues with the relationship, as well as the implications of it if it was made public, while Sonny was probably hurting just as much or even more, because it was _ him _ who had slipped up. Harry regretted ever mentioning being scared of the cameras or the difficulty of their relationship, it was probably eating Sonny inside. He was afraid, of course, and he would have enough time to have panic attacks over it later but right now it felt egocentric to worry about his problems. He had to worry about  _ Sonny _ only.  Actually, what he  _ had _ to do was talk to him as soon as possible, like, right that second. And so he did, he wasn't playing any good any how, so he just kept eying Jose until he got the message and just took him off the pitch. He did, eventually, when Kane stopped to even run at all and just walked aimlessly, and as soon as he got subbed out he ran off, high-fived Vinicius and went straight ahead to sit behind Son, not wanting to freak him out by sitting next to him, hopping Sonny would take it as a way of Harry saying he respected his space, but near enough that he could put a hand on his shoulder and ask "How's your knee?", underlying the real question beneath everything. Son lowered his head and said "I's ok." and Harry let the conversation die down. Unknown to Harry, Son took the fact that he didn't sit next to him as a way of saying he was so  _ screwed _ , and was so mad he couldn't handle being next to him.

As soon as Jose let the guys go, Sonny  _ ran _ faster than he ever had run on pitch just to get out of the situation. The manager hadn't said anything about the whole incident, but Son was scared he was going to pull him and Kane out of the group and yell at them, plus, the faster he ran, the less chance there was of Harry catching up with him. Usually, Son would want to keep near to people so that Harry couldn't be  _ really  _ mad at him, but right now he just wanted to be alone. Right now the only thing Son really wanted to do was get to his car and try to ease the feeling of guilt smashing his heart. He was sure he was being irrational, deep down, but the idea of Harry being mad, of his slip up costing Harry his career or his kids or his reputation, all because Son didn't think, made him feel  _ sick _ . He really couldn't get out of his head the fact that he kissed Harry while cameras where all around them, it had been quick, sure, but it had been still displayed for everyone to see and even though Son had wished several times that everyone could just know he belonged to Kane, the thought that he had done it because of the heat of the moment knowing Harry had his worries about it brought tears of self-hate to his eyes.  Sonny barely made it to his car before he started to pinch his own flesh like that would make his thoughts go away.

Less than 10 minutes later, Harry was knocking his knuckle against the door window, signaling to Son he wanted to get in, and while Son wanted to start the car and drive and ignore the problem, he just opened the door. He couldn't escape the consequences of his actions forever.

"How are you?" The gentleness of Harry's voice and softness of his touch on his arm, over the markings of Son's own nails, actually made him startle and shoot his head up

"I… what? Why are you… what?"  He didn't need to say anything really, Harry knew Son didn't have the best memories about consequences or slip ups, but  _ how could Son ever think that about Harry? _

"Sonny, you need to talk to me, here."

"What? No. No!  _ You  _ need to talk to me. You should do the talking! You should be mad and give me a speech about thinking about my actions, not ask me how I am." That broke Harry's heart. Sonny really didn't think he had a say in the matter, he didn't think  _ he _ would have problems, too.

"Okay" came as a whisper. He figured if Sonny wasn't going to talk, Harry should give a kick off start "Well, I'm mostly concerned about you... they told me your knee was alright so I'm just trying to see what you are thinking about. Jose said he didn't care and that he would just come up with something or just straight up ignore it, but he said he would kill you if you pulled any of that stuff again and he said we had to 'sort ourselves out and not let it interfere with the games' as you would except. And..." Sonny was right, talking about what you are thinking isn't easy at all, Harry didn't know where to go next. How to explain that he was scared but he was happy all at the same time. He said just that. "I'm scared, I guess."

When Sonny started to grasp at the wheel for dear life Harry  _ knew _ he had fucked up somehow. Son didn't like to cry, he would do anything not to cry and the way his knuckles were turning white just made Harry realise he was  _ not _ alright. 

"Kiss me, please." Was all it came out of Sonny's mouth after 1 or 2 minutes of silence. And it was enough for Harry to cup his face up and just kiss him like the world was going to end. It was such a weird angle, but it was fine because in the last 20 minutes Son's car had been filled with Harry' scent, and Harry's voice, and Harry's warmth and all Son could do was be intoxicated by him and not care for anything but for the man who had just said it was  _ okay _ to fuck up sometimes. And Sonny really wanted him to hold him close and just kiss him, because Harry kissed as gently as he talked but he was always  _ there, _ so present, so fucking sweet. And he held him close, as close as he could at least, with his hands on his neck and lips against his and just so comforting. So like  _ home _ .

It ended after a few minutes, with a sneaky peck to Sonny's chin and a caress against his hair. Son felt like he owed him a talk, this time around.

"I'm just really mad at myself. I feel like I didn't have any right to do a thing like that, I was just so happy I felt like I had to share it with you right then. I-I don't know why  _ you _ are not angry, I was expecting getting a cold-shoulder or something because… well we didn't start great like, with the one-night thing and the lack of sleeping, and I just… it's not like I doubt you or anything I just wasn't sure, it still doesn't feel real enough for that and we never talked about it. It's not that I don't trust Spurs fans to be accepting I just know that it's not safe hm, you had said it was difficult and I should've just respected it because it's true. I don't know. I just… I feel like I messed up really badly. I don't know what to do." 

Sonny kept rambling, non-stop, and he sounded so lost _ , _ Harry just wanted to hug him. And then he realized Son expected him to  _ yell.  _ Harry. Yelling at Sonny. Just the idea, or the thought that Son ever thought that would happen, made Harry shiver and feel his eyes tearing up because Sonny had  _ no idea  _ how much Harry thought he was precious. How much  _ he loved him _ , for God's sake. Harry hugged him. Because he couldn't take it.

"We're gonna figure this out." Harry said against Son's hair.

Turns out, they _didn't_ have to figure anything out, because good old Davies had just _casually_ walked in front of them, so the camera didn't actually catch anything. It had been a scare, still. It had been pure luck that Davies got his timing in sync, and the incident had actually get Sonny to wake Harry up in the middle of the night (He never did that, he knew Harry found his sleep to be important), shaking him lightly, because it was 4AM and he was thinking everything through and even though Harry was hugging him while asleep and his body was so warm, Son had to make sure he wasn't upset. His worries disappeared into thin air after Harry kissed him lightly and caressed Sonny's hair while he laid on his chest, until they both fell asleep. The worries had been there for a long time, anyhow. 

It didn't matter. Harry's heart was beating lovingly all the same, and only Sonny would know it.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments make my day!! You all know the drill, I'm a simple guy.
> 
> Guys!! I did it I wrote the damn 2K words /Happy crying/
> 
> So here's a fun fact: both my internet AND television stopped working (thank you, operating system). Yes, the day before Tottenham game against Arsenal. Yes I want to die (and I'm posting this with Mobile data). My hope is that maybe tomorrow the TV will be back. Anyways, that's why there's a fanfic on the weekend, because I had nothing better to do. Hope you all enjoy anyhow


End file.
